In-TEN-tion

This year feels like it's going to be a big year for me, as I am getting married * I will be in our house for a full year * I am going to my 10 year college reunion...and who knows what else! Actually this decade feels like a big decade for me, since it's starting with a year of Big-ness.

Yet, I'm still sort of stuck in transitioning between 2009 and 2010. I learned a lot in 2009, mainly that I really am in a place of working through how I think about my work and purpose. I am creative person at heart and am working to reconcile a desire for creativity with a desire to pay the bills. (Note: if you have The Solution for this, please let me know ASAP.)

Past years have seen me go from making spreadsheets of everything I want to do in a given year to being convinced that snow made polar bears are a Sign from On High. (Read more: January 2009, January 2008, January 2007 and January 2006.)

This year finds me making lists of "I want to" instead of "I will":
I want to... read more * run again * knit more * learn Tarot * make a quilt * host a dinner party * buy a red dress * journal more * see my mom * sleep enough * drink more water * work less * laugh more * plant a garden * get a birdhouse * vacation with Sparky... you get the idea.
It sort of goes on and on... but all seems tangible and significant.

I am doing keeping a calendar not of planning but of what happened in 2010. I keep it my bedside table and write down what happened each day. Little things, "like had dinner with BFF" or "knit on brother's scarf" or "played Farmville way too much"... I have a feeling they are probably going to add up and be a really good reminder to myself that I do not only work and am not only my job. I am using the Listography Journal, which has prompts for other "life lists" to think about. This week's is "Favorite Dance Songs". Clearly not always so... deep.

I also got myself a new journal. I have a giant moleskine journal that I've been using since 2006 and am not even half way through. I kept thinking in the interest of being frugal I should use it up... it has a black cover and is heavy and is filled with a lot of ... history. So I got myself a new, non-black journal and it's funny, but I think it's sort of making a difference, even though I've only used it twice. It helps that it's pretty and I just like looking at it.

So, there you go. Starting my decade with intentions instead of goals and plans...